Revival

We had a mini-revival last week with three of Byromville's former pastors. First let me say that its great for the current pastor to see that former pastors can come back and are welcomed with open arms. That says a lot for a Southern Baptist church. The preaching was great and the food and fellowship was amazing. People were laughing and talking and embracing each other.

However, I found myself wondering if people were really being moved by God. On the last night I got my answer. God used an 85 year old lady in my church to bring out revival in me. She came to the front and took me by the hand and in her own words told me that she wanted to do better. I was floored. This woman is 85 years old and holy! But she wanted more. God used her to speak in volume to me. The longings of the Apostle Paul to press on to know Christ more began to flood my mind. I was overwhelmed by the weight of God's presence at the front of our little church.

I certainly hope that if I make it to 85 I have the zeal of this lady!!

Baptist Preachers

I don't want to be a Baptist Preacher!!!! That sounds crazy at face value because I pastor a Baptist Church but let me explain something to you. When you hear the term Baptist Preacher what comes to your mind? I see a loud, red in the face, pulpit slapping, friend chicken eating, Sweat-Tea drinking, coat and tie wearing, 3 point sermon having, 30 minute preaching, seminary loving man. That's what I think about when I think about a Baptist Preacher and I don't want to be one!!!

I'm serious I have a big soap box to get on and I just can't help it. I met a fellow pastor today at a pastor's meeting. He was a young guy; more than likely 35 or 36 just by looking at him. He introduced himself to me and exclaimed that he thought he was a young pastor until he met me. Then he asked me something that to be honest I am tired of hearing. He said, "You go to seminary" with what appeared to be a very judgmental look as he gazed at me from head to toe. I simply said, "nope" and went on about my business. This attitude just erks me!! Did Peter go to seminary? How about John? Last time I read Acts the Bible said they were "untrained" men. They walked with Christ and did what he said. I have experienced, personally some stupid comments from Baptist leaders. While I was working on my 4-year I took some preaching classes. My professor marked off on my sermons because he said I was too comfortable up there. I put my hands in my pockets and walked around too much. I just took the deduction. A friend of mine who is in youth ministry preached at his church one Sunday. His pastor told him after the service that a baptist preacher didn't preach from a big hard-cover bible but a smaller bible that he could carry around. I know guys that spend more time talking about their seminary than they do their churches. Baptist are supposed to raise their hands in worship I heard.
Thats for the charismatics. The list could go on and on.

Now why am I ranting and raving? I love being a Baptist I really do. I love the doctrines and the structure of the church. But I don't like the program-driven mentality. I don't like the idea that we are to "do" church instead of "being" the church. I don't like how complicated and professional we have made the pastorate. If that's what it means to be a Baptist Preacher then I want a different title. I want to be a pastor of a Baptist church; not a professional but a wild-eyed crazy man that loves Jesus and His bride. I want to read my bible and do what it says instead of sitting around trying to make sure it lines up with the Baptist church. When I do get a masters I want to forget all about school and focus on the bride of Christ instead of bragging on my education and degrees. I don't want to feel like I have to only preach 30 mins and not a minute longer. I just long and thirst for the simple church of the Bible and not this monster that seminary and the convention have produced.

I guess it could be worse though. I could be a Methodist...just kidding.

Cant Sleep

You would think I would be in the bed. I only got about 2 hours of good sleep last night and I am dog tired. I just can't stop my thoughts from running off. There are a million things going through my mind; I'm trying to reconcile another miscarriage (2 in almost 4 years) and I can't. Is it part of some plane? Maybe it is divine judgement? The supper religious statement is that I am building character. But none of this makes it any easier. None of it helps bring meaning. The only time I can remember feeling this frail and human was the last time this happened to us; the last time we lost a child. Am I that selfish? Is this more about the absence of control or about a child. I really disgust myself...maybe it is judgement.

Why does the feeling of frailty cause us such grief? When it's financial or even medical we still have a since of control; like there is something more we can do. There is still a feeling of hope. For a cancer victim there is the hope of chemo or radiation. For the financial struggle there is the hope of assistance from a friend or relative; the hope that pinching pennies will help. But something like this is completely out of my hands; there is nothing I can possible do. I pray God will help me come to some clairity on hope because one of the points in my sermon this Sunday is about that very subject; HOPE. How will I ever be able to preach that message in the shape Im in?

I don't even know if this blog makes sense. If it doesn't just chalk it up to no sleep. All I know is the journey I am on is not a fun one. It is like being strapped into the passenger seat of a car you don't want to be as you watch a maniac take you for a drive. I'll let you know how the trip goes. Good night guys!!!

My Only Instrument

Today was a tough day for my family. We had our first baby doctor appointment and things did not go well. Mary Kathryn looks like she is 8 to 9 weeks pregnant but the baby only made it to about week 5. We will go for some test and things next week to confirm unless MK's body finally figures out something is wrong and she has a miscarriage before then. We are very heavy hearted and crushed and we are struggling to practice what we preach.

Everything within me keeps saying "just worship." The struggle is knowing how. Its easy to do it with instruments of happiness and security but how do you worship with pain and suffering? How do I allow God to be glorified in me through my satisfaction in this? My mind is tormented by anger but I must worship. I've got to find a way to play these instruments. Pray for me!!!

Top 5

My good friend Ricky Sowell has a blog that I read from time to time. On his blog he does something very cool; he gives his readers a top 5 list of random things. I find them enjoyable so I have decided to do the same. Today I have been thinking about the influences in my life as I now seek to be an influence to others. So in no particular order here are the top 5 influences on my life.

#1. My mom. She will admit she is not a perfect lady but man does she have passion. When she sets her mind to do something she does it and does it well. She taught me the value of speaking up for what I believe in. When I was a lost sinner she was the one praying in my room and pleading the blood of Jesus over me. Thanks mom!!!

#2 Chase Ostrander. Chase is a friend of mine that I have known for almost 5 years. He is my opposite in most ways; a Yankee and soft-spoken. What I love the most about Chase is that he takes everything to God in prayer. When I need prayer he is the first person on my list to call. He has challenged me on many things and as a result I have had to do a lot of repenting. My views of evanglism and family come from the fact that Chase loved me enough to give me some books and pray for me daily. There is no better friend than this guy!!!

#3 T.J. Mauldin. Ive never told TJ how much he has taught me. This guys is in his early 20's and has a better handle on scripture that most guys twice his age. TJ has taught me the value of digging deeper in the Word of God and seeing the things that are underneath the surface. He has an amazing heart for people and seeing lost people come to know Christ. This is the guy that will break out in worship and bible study at the Waffle House at 2 in the morning. I would know; I've seen it. And people just respond to him like they have known him for years even though they just met.

#4. Tim Rigeway. Tim was my first Pastor. He took me under his wing and taught me the value of wearing your emotions on your sleeve. I often wonder where I would be if God had not brought this man and his family into my life. Tim is like a father to me. We have shared each other's good times and bad. I hardly ever get to see him but when I do it just fits like an old pair of shoes.

#5. Charles Spurgeon. People at my church will laugh when they read this because I quote him every other Sunday. But it is amazing to me how a man that has been dead for so long has had such a rich impact on my life and ministry. I want to preach like Spurgeon; with bold, simple language that is surprisingly profound. I want of have half this man's zeal for the lost and for spurring on other preachers. If God give us a son and my wife would let me I would name his Spurgeon, I promise I would. My wife is praying for all girls now.